Insecurities: Defining your identity

 Hello, Champ❤️🏆! It's a cool evening over here and the breeze is so gentle in one's skin. I enjoy quiet moments like this ; peaceful yet simple. 

    My thoughts drifted to a point in my life that was not so calm and blissful because my nerves were constantly irritated by what people thought or said. I had no specific clue of what that phase was then. However, it's clearer now that I am standing on the shores looking at the waves that once troubled me go farther away. It was all about identity crisis.

      DEFINING INSECURITIES 

In simple terms, insecurity is a feeling of uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence. It is important for us to know that insecurities are not limited to certain age groups and situations. 

This feeling stems out of so many factors as we transit from from phase of life to another. It's perfectly fine to be imperfect; that's why we are humans. Insecurities are magnifications of our imperfections that hinder our growth in life. And if you would ask me, it's so unfair of you to punish yourself physically, psychologically, emotionally and socially for something that is a minute fraction of your totality. Yeah,that thing that is making you feel less of yourself is just a drop in the ocean of your beauty and potentials.

      It could range from being insecure about your physical attributes like facial features,skin colour, height, weight, hair length, a scar, a disability etc to being insecure about your background, financial status, inability to afford what you want, religion etc.  

    Pause and take a minute to identify and admit your insecurities. You and I know what it is or what they are. Yeah, it's time to finally admit it, sweetie. Identifying the roots of the problem makes it easier to cut off the tree of insecurities and fear 

      One thing that stood out for me and stuck was this. Everyone has imperfections but we mask it better than one another. The most confident and charismatic person you know might have that feeling of insecurity about whatsoever. The ability to knock out our insecurities and not feeding them to become giants makes the difference.

      As a teenager, it's alright to battle with those 'I-do-not-know-who-I-am' periods. Let's read this short experience of Yinka (now a 300 level law student))

     "As for me, I was so pissed off with my weight, looks and colour and the more annoying part was people spelling out these things in manners that could drain any form of confidence left either they meant it or not. Comparison began to set in and I got jealous of friends that had the supposed definition of beauty. I withdrew from social peer gatherings because I felt I didn't belong. I was brilliant , quite alright. But I didn't appreciate the fullness of my beauty beyond the physical criteria. I wanted to fit in with the standards of curves, pink lips, baby face etc. I remember giving a classmate money to get me slim tea in SS1. It was a lot actually and I began to lose myself. Focusing on physical beauty and neglecting character and values that really matter in thriving in life. Fast forward to the present, people compliment my smile, dress sense and glowing dark skin . This got me amused of how I have come to appreciate and take care of myself. It doesn't really matter if people compliment or bash me. All I know is that I am not defined by imperfections"

      Oopps..... it's been a long read. I have a lot to write about but let's end it here. Definitely, there would be a part2 if you want. Part 2 would be addressing ways of overcoming insecurities.

Sweet dreamers, thank you for your love and support ❤️. Don't forget to comment, share and follow this page. Do well to read previous posts if you haven't. 

Feel free to reach out: tolulopeakinlosilure@gmail.com

Naive Hearts - my first published novel is finally out!!! I call this my baby project and I poured my heart into this❤️

Please check it out on:

https://alphanovel.io/novels/ya-teen/naive-hearts-by-the-jade

 You would love it🥺