HOW ARE YOU?

 

Hey, Sweet! ❤️

     How are you ? 

  Hold on, I don’t want that lie - “I’m fine”.

 Maybe not totally a lie but it sounds more like a faster excuse or response given to quickly round off a conversation. 

   But sorry to inform you that this conversation is going nowhere until we settle this matter.       

    This is probably the most frequently asked  question answered in milliseconds without given much thought.              

    

      That is because we have  ready- to- use templates on our lips that is often not a true reflection of what is going on the inside. And honestly, it is what it is.           

 We are all busy people with businesses to mind. 

              Life is 'lifing', honestly. 

    Hence, it really  takes an  extra effort for someone to take a pause and care to know if the other person is actually fine. 

          Moreover, the society toughens us and being vulnerable is often perceived as weakness.

  How many  fathers crumbling under the weight of so many responsibilities and pressure will truthfully express their inner battles? 

   Of course, he just has to be fine simply because he is a man and he is socially and culturally not permitted to display any form of vulnerability. So, each time he is being asked - " How are you?",  he does not think much of it and quickly responds with the template - I am fine.  

Same old  response until stroke, depression and other offshoots of stress, suppressed emotions that has been eating him up  proves otherwise that “he has not been fine”.

  Just imagine  a situation where someone you greeted randomly , asked the usual question - “How are you?” and he or she responded with the usual  “ I’m fine oooo” (in the typical naija way) was reported to have committed suicide, probably the next day?

 Wild right?  Painful but sad reality of what is actually happening. 

P.S  Suicide should never an option when faced with life challenges.  A living dog is better than a dead life. Indeed, as long as there is still life in you-  there is a future and hope for you)

   Well……. there are more talking lips than listening ears.

  And the question is : Who really cares to listen in a world filled with so many noises? 

 Obviously, not everyone is expected to become  a therapist and  neither should everyone start explaining personal issues or family matters to every Jack and John at the mention of “How are you?” but let us endeavour to be kind in words and in our actions towards others.  

   The truth is everyone has got their silent  struggles . But you never can tell how a timely message, warm hug, cute smile, a listening ear or a helping hand  could save someone. 

   Moving forward, I really do hope you would  be more intentional rather than just being casual each time you ask someone this question especially a friend or relative. Don’t just assume.

Now back to my question:- 

How are you, like for real - how are you?

I really do hope that you are fine and I pray  that your joy shall be indeed full in this new month. 

   It can truly be felt by the heart when it truly  comes from the heart.

Little jara😅

   " How are you my friend?

How do you do my friend eh eh?

I know sometimes e be like say nobody send you 

That one na lie

I dey for you, my friend ❤️

I think these lyrics from Johnny's Drille song - How are you, my friend?" perfectly captures this beautiful piece.

Big shout -outs to real, few friends that listen to our rants and truly care about how we feel ❤️

And to those that wouldn't mind going extra miles to lift your spirit when you are feeling low and down. 

What of those that could read our moods at times when words feel too heavy to say and silence speaks volume?

Your love is solid ❤️

Thank youuuuuu 😌🌹

Please, kindly share and drop your comments below 🤍

You can also reach me via email - tolulopeakinlosilure@gmail.com